Did you know that disagreements over finances are the fifth most common cause of divorce in America?
Interestingly though, money is rarely the main cause of such separations. Money is usually a symptom rather than a cause of relationship problems.
In this video Adam Day, a financial advisor at Wealthquest, talks to us about this important topic: money and relationships.
One example of money being a symptom rather than a cause of relationship problems is when people have different wants but fail to communicate them effectively to their partners.
For example, one person will spend money (sometimes the other spouse’s money) on something that only (s)he wants while the other will spend money on something that only (s)he wants.
Neither person communicates these desires to the other and what inevitably happens is that they’ll get mad at each other for spending a ridiculous amount of money on a fancy new gadget or a designer handbag.
Money also causes friction in relationships when it’s used as a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with deeper problems.
For example, if the couple had an argument on Friday night then one of the two might go on a spending spree on Saturday morning as a way to blow off some steam instead of resolving the argument by talking about it like adults.
Adam gives us three tips for handling money in relationships. First, you need to talk to each other about what your vision and values are for the future, both individually and as a couple. Second, you have to establish open and honest communication between the two of you.
Lastly, try to check in with each other periodically to see how you’re doing financially and with your vision and values. This can be as simple as an informal, monthly meeting with the family.