It’s a new year, and we should be kind and compassionate toward ourselves. Sure, everything may not be perfect. Maybe we’ve already failed a new year’s resolution or goal. Perhaps we feel regret over our Christmas spending or credit card debt. There are so many things that can allow our inner critic to take hold and wreak havoc on our minds.
I’m going to talk about ten ways to manage that inner critic or the cognitive distortions which make us unusually hard on ourselves or feel bad about ourselves. It’s time to look at those thoughts and find ways to manage that inner critic so we can find our inner ally to respond to those thoughts.
[04:12] When our brain says something over and over again, we decide that it’s true. This is called cognitive distortion.
[05:33] All-or-Nothing thinking. You’re either perfect or a failure. We need to actively look for the middle ground.
[07:12] Overgeneralization is using the words always or never. Remove the words always or never. It’s a singular moment.
[08:33] Filtering. We filter and magnify the negative and discard the positive. Our brains are always looking for threats. Keep track of the positive aspects by writing them down.
[09:49] Catastrophizing. Going to the worst case scenario. Ask ourselves what could go right? Look for the best case scenario.
[11:58] Disqualifying the positive. It takes five positives to offset one negative. Keep track of your wins and write down a few positives.
[13:30] Jumping to conclusions. Project onto people what you’re most afraid that they will feel. Is it true? Are there other possibilities?
[14:34] Emotional reasoning. Telling yourself it must be true because you feel it. Intense emotional feelings only last about 90 seconds.
[16:02] Should statements. When you tell yourself what it should be like. Stop and ask where these expectations come from.
[17:46] Personalization. When you take everything personally and accept responsibility.
[18:56] Double standard. Where we hold ourselves to a higher standard than everyone else. How would we respond to a friend?