145 // Your 2-Step Thanksgiving Survival Guide

Today, we’re talking about relationships and how to interact with others during the holidays, particularly your loved ones, healthily. Those relationships tie in so heavily to money and money conversations.

A few episodes back, we talked about Einhorn’s Theory of Happiness. In that episode, we talked about how the key to happiness is not spending mental time thinking about the things that you have that you want, but about the things you don’t have that you don’t want. Not that you can’t be thankful for what you have that you want. That’s important, of course. However, where there is the opportunity, spend time reflecting and feeling thankful for what you don’t have that you don’t want, like chronic illness or marriage tension. That is such a huge part of gratitude because we can always compare ourselves to what others have that we still want, and that rabbit hole is hard to climb out of.

There are a lot of articles these days on the growing divisiveness and isolation, and how it is getting harder to have conversations that are neutral and comfortable. There’s this organization called 3 Practices that highlights some cool ways to draw closer to each other, not just dig our heels in.

  1. I Will Be Unusually Interested in Others – This one is all about leaning in and asking questions rather than defending yourself. All of the questions that they ask begin with, “I’d be curious to know…” and instantly, it’s now about curiosity rather than attack or defense.
  2. I Will Stay in the Room with Difference – This one is encouraging you to stay present in the difference. So much of current interaction ends with removing ourselves from the discomfort of difference. What might happen if you were to lean into it?
  3. I’ll Stop Comparing My Best to Your Worst – This is a powerful commitment to make. When we’re in arguments, we tend to compare our best possible outcome to their worst possible outcome, and it feels like an easy win from our point of view.
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